Navigating Patterns

This morning, a not so unique thought, but a provocative one crossed my mind: I heard, “advertising is a form of brain washing”.   Hmmm.  That gave me pause, because immediately after hearing it, I knew it to be true.  What’s more, I knew the thought was referring to more than what we traditionally define as “advertising” and wondered where this tangent would  take me.   I sat quietly and looked within for answers.

I started with the original thought and wondered how many things I had purchased because I saw them advertised over and over again, because the ad convinced me that I could lose weight,  have perfect skin, have slower hair growth or none at all, speak Spanish in less than 10 days, etc., only to find out after using the product that it did not deliver as promised.  Many of them even offered a 30-day money-back guarantee, which further convinced me  the products would work.   Despite the guarantee, the products almost always fell short of their promise.    This led me to question how many people actually go through the trouble of returning those items and whether or not it changed our behavior.

I did an internet search and discovered an interesting article regarding why a company should offer money back guarantees:   http://seanseo.com/internet-business/money-back-guarantee/.  Some of the reasons include building trust and getting an edge on your competition.   I read on, and according to the article, another good reason a manufacturer should offer the money-back offer:  “the majority of consumers considers it too much of a hassle to return something or ask for a refund. The odds are with you [that they won’t].”  So in other words, a money-back guarantees purpose it not to validate the product’s performance; its purpose is to getting you to do one thing: BUY.  And, buy we do.  Even when there isn’t a money-back guarantee!

As a society, we often buy into the idea that “something” will deliver.  We believe it, and then we are disappointed when the product does not come as assured.  Oddly enough, that does not change our behavior much.   We continue to encounter and buy other things all the time, with the hope that this instance will be different, this time, the merchandise we are investing in will work.  To be fair, many products and services do deliver on their promises, which further add to our confusion and ability to make good sound decisions on purchases.  Some work, some don’t.  Without trying the product out, how will we know if we are spending our money wisely?  We depend on advertising to steer us in the right direction.  Is this wise?

What exactly is advertising  when it is broken down to its simplest form?    I deduced it is a pattern, and like all patterns,  they repeat themselves over and over again, throughout nature and in all aspects of life.   Anything that gets your attention and lures you in is an energetic, universal pattern that can be called “advertising”.  Marketers use it, but they did not create it.  They simply replicated a pattern they saw in everyday life that goes back to the days of cavemen when wildlife beckoned the hunter with his bow and arrow.

If there is a need, a perceived need, or even a strong desire to have something, humans will chase after it with the intention to acquire it.  Whether we need something or not, whether it delivers on its promises or not, we just can’t help ourselves, we are attracted to things that spark some sort of emotional interest, and simply must have them.  The desire to covet is greater than the desire to covet something we truly know is worth our while.   For some, the pursuit in and of itself adds to the adventure of life and is fun.  For others, there may be aggravation, or a feeling of betrayal as in, “I trusted you and you lied to me,” or self-judgment as in, “Stupid me! How could I have fallen for that one again?”   So how do we keep ourselves safe from experiencing the chaos or disappointment some patterns create in our lives or avoid getting stuck in them?

If we would rather experience joy and elude becoming victims, we must do several things.  The first is to accept that encountering these patterns is inevitable; it is futile to avoid or resist them.  We must also accept that we cannot change patterns as they are intrinsic in nature.  Know that we may not recognize the pattern when we encounter it.  Usually the pattern appears as something we perceive, believe or hope  is good for us, meant for us, or that will serve us in a positive way.   This is how we get looped into repeating the same experiences over and over again.  Desire takes hold and we believe that desire and something being in our highest good are equivalent.   But remember advertising, and how it plays on your desire.  Instead of falling for the seduction and letting our desires sweep in and throw us into pursuit at all cost, instead of innocently and blindly trusting or believing everything we hear, see or feel, we need to do one more thing: slow the process down.

Learn the art of staying emotionally detached from and holding space for the pattern until you figure out if it serves your highest good or not.  The process can be fun and bring joy, even if in the end of your discovery process, you decide this is not what you want or need. When you slow down and are not attached to the outcome, you act more wisely and your discernment skills come to life.  You are able to ask questions, check references and check in with yourself.  You can clearly make mental notes and honestly assess the data as it is.  If you find ourselves settling for less, or making excuses for a person, place or thing that does not live up the promises they have made or your standards, feel empowered and value yourself enough to know you deserve the best.   Put this on your “not acceptable” list.  When you feel you have had sufficient time, reassess the situation and all the data.  Ask yourself if you have encountered a repetitive pattern or if you have  encountered a new pattern that will truly serve your highest good.

At this point, you are ready to make an informed decision on whether to engage or not.  If you decide to stay, be open to the possibilities and relish the ride.  If, on the other hand, you decide to leave the situation behind, especially when someone else is involved, I encourage you to do so with kindness, compassion and honest communication.    We can act responsibly and avoid doing harm to others even when they want us to stay.  We need to be courageous enough for honest dialogue, and hold space for the other person, especially if they have an emotional reaction to the news.  The emotional reaction might be uncomfortable for you, but in the end, I believe it is the most honorable way to act and that doing so makes for a much happier world.

Keep in mind there will always be folks who want to sell you magical snake oil with the promise it will cure all your ailments.  There will always be an alluring person whom you believe is meant to be your life partner.  And, there will always be “get rich quick” schemes and a host of other patterns that promise the moon but fail to deliver.    Despite our best efforts, there may also be times we fall into and become entangled in the old patterns.  Perhaps this is just a part of life.  However, instead of reacting with fear, anger or naïveté, be empowered by this knowledge, have a plan of action or evacuation, communicate honestly, and be open to receive all that is in your highest good.   Know that with practice, you will experience more abundance, wonder, joy and discernment in your life.  You can learn to recognize patterns and respond differently when you encounter them, thereby taking a pass instead of becoming embroiled in yet another situation you would rather have avoided.  I believe this with my heart and soul, for me and for you.

Namaste.