A conundrum observed: repeating patterns as a reaction. I had a deep epiphany this morning – whenever we are repeating a pattern in our life – the other person we are currently repeating the pattern with are they themselves repeating a pattern. We are both given the opportunity to change our ingrained response to these patterns, and in choosing something different, something unfamiliar, we dispel the illusion created by the pattern (which has had us in its grasp, slaves returning back to the old pattern again and again, often leaving us hurt and battered). We bravely open ourselves to experience something new, something we thought elusive, something we thought we would or could not ever get: an opportunity for happiness, wholeness, balance, and fulfillment. We realize what we were seeking has been there all along – we just kept choosing the old pattern and its empty promises over a new direction.
Today, I embrace the Sacred Geometry of Life’s Patterns. I let go of my hard-set beliefs and open myself to the possibilities – I open myself up to command the illusions “clear away, present yourself as you really are, and not in the pretty packaging which tempts me.” I finally understand illusions are like beautifully wrapped boxes with nothing inside them except for the old pattern, quietly lying-in wait. I honor these illusions and am full of gratitude for the role they have played in my life. I honor them for what they are, my teachers, who have been waiting patiently all these years for me to figure it out and instead of “buying into” them and my own thoughts and feelings about them (think: ooooh, that’s what I want, that’s what I have been waiting for, that will lead to a life of beauty).
Now, I take my time with everything, and really observe – what is a red flag, what is disrespectful behavior from another (no matter what their “wound” that has yet to heal – healing their wounds is their responsibility, not mine), what is the cost of engaging with that person, place or thing. Instead of looking at the appearance of what is before me, I look for the pattern, and that takes time to see it. Think Fibonacci here: a head of cauliflower looks nothing like a sunflower nor an aloe plant nor a snail shell nor my ear – but all of those things contain the Fibonacci sequence, the pattern. That is what I look for – a pattern. I know because something “looks” different, it doesn’t mean it is.
Write about it, record how you react to new people, places or things, how do those things react and respond to you – are they an echo of your past, courting you once again? SLOW DOWN. Use your intuition, your spidey senses and FEEL your truth. Meditate on it, move your body through it all while resisting the temptation to engage (and the key word here is TEMPTATION), and play it forward in your mind. What is going to be the real outcome of the engagement, and is THAT what you really want? Are you just looking for a fleeting feeling to feel good about yourself in the current moment (feeding a low self-esteem)? Is it to honor someone else’s opinion of you? Is it just for a RUSH? Is it to fulfill some fantasy you have created about yourself when you were a child, or maybe even still?
When you examine it completely, do so trusting that if whatever it is really is for you, it will still be there for you when the maya clears. Spend time alone. Read a book, go for a hike, dance alone in your house, paint, learn something new. Operate without fear. Operate from a center of love and faith. Pull back your energies and those beliefs created around it and watch as the illusion is quietly dispelled -it is like watching a cloud dissolve. The situation changes, you stay in trust, and you are free. A word of caution here: although you will see whatever it is for whatever it is, unfortunately, the pattern does not disappear from our life or the world. What we work on next is ensuring our approach and reaction to the pattern shifts to one of non-interest.
Moving forward, we must continue to look for the old pattern which will still try to court us. By taking our time, resisting temptation and really feeling it out, with practice, we will recognize it, and nod politely as we pass each other by. There is no longer a need to chase it down, engage it and expect that somehow the outcome will be different. Be like a good shepherd, alert, all your senses turned on, and wait for the wolf in sheep’s cloth in the shadows to finally be revealed by the Light in the World and say – you there! You are a wolf, not a sheep, you are not in my flock and if you stay you will do harm…you must be going now…and send it off with a blessing of good riddance.